You Know What Makes Absolutely No Sense?

 

So. I'm re-watching Lost again. I'm not sure why, because I was angry at it for all seven seasons the first time and I'm angry the whole first three so far (plus there is better television out there)... but I get as wrapped up as the next sap-suckin' fruit bag.  

The show has two redeeming things:

                 1. Hurley 

Hurley is the only character on the ENTIRE show (and main characters are added all of the time) that leads a relatively normal life or is actually indicative of human nature (Rose and Bernard, maybe, but they are a strange brew in themselves). A torturer? Diamond thieves? African gang lords? Professional con men? Incestuous step siblings? Cop-murderers? Are these really the people I'm getting onto airplanes with? But Hugo Reyes actually makes sense.

                  2. How Easily Lost is translated into a drinking game.

• Drink every time the opening shot is someone's eye
• Take a shot every time someone is shot
• Drink every time someone dies, but doesn't really
• Drink when someone says "son of a bitch" (twice, if it's Sawyer)
• Drink for 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, or 42 that appears. Thrice if the set appears.
• Drink every time someone says "We have to go back"
• Drink every time Michael yells "Waaaalt!" or Claire yells "my baby!"
• Drink every time someone gets punched and NO blood is drawn
• Drink every time you hear whispering in the jungle
• Every time Jin seems to have a perm suddenly
• Drink every time the JackFace occurs (Lost lingo)
• Take a shot every time Sayid tortures someone (two if he exudes some sexiness simultaneously)
• Take a shot every time Sawyer punches Jack or vice versa
• Drink for every flashback
• Take a shot for every random that dies
• Chug a beer every time Scott and Steve get mixed up
• Drink when Hurley says "dude"
• Drink when someone cries or dramatically stops talking
• Take a shot when anyone "sees you in another life, brother"
• Someone answers "It's complicated," or says, "I was looking for something" as if that's a legitimate reason for what they're really doing
• Take a drink every time you recognize someone from someone else's flashback
• Someone starts with, "Can I ask you a question?"

For those of you who have never watched it, DON'T. Save yourself. However, if you want to be endlessly tormented by broken plotlines, absurd logic, huge holes in development and gaps between flashbacks and developing story, but mystery after curious mystery, then it's ok.